Uncomfortable in Your Own Skin?
Let’s be honest, human skin is overrated. Aside from the occasional bronze tan after summering at the French Riviera, what more does it really offer? Our animal friends offer much more practical outer layers, after all, alligators sleekly stride through water and can lay in the sun all day without wrinkling, chinchilla’s rarely complain about a chilly winter evening and snake’s shed their skin anyway; it’s not like they are terribly attached to it. For only a couple of thousand dollars a pop, you can finally help put human skin where it belongs, as a failed fad of seasons past. Step into more highly evolved fashion future with this entirely animal skin ensemble. Okay, you might look ridiculous, but fashion statements are inherently bold by nature (and in this case at the expense of it).Hermes Matte Crocodile Birkin Bag (Price: 120,000) Handbags are perhaps an entire subject on their own, with high end models rarely comprised of mere fabric, but few one-time hides ever eclipse the exorbitant price tag of this little ditty. Apparently, cheaper versions of the original are available for around 5,000. Still for only about the same price, you can purchase your very own baby crocodile, which over the years can grow to hold not only your cellphone, wallet and keys but a wide assortment of insects, fish, shellfish alongside the occasional roaming neighborhood pet.Manolo Blahnik Alligator Boots (Price: 14,000) For just 7,000 a piece, these high-heeled black boots will cover you from knee to tow in gator skin. Stylishly retooling a legendary look among swamp-crawlers, this fresh design should have street-walkers sprinting stiletto over stiletto towards Saks Fifth Avenue.Russian Sable Coat (Price: 40,000 average) “What is a Russian sable?” you might ask. This small mammal native to Russia and northern Asia has been predisposed to making its home in the frigid northern taiga, thus its prized fur should have no problem weathering the milder Manhattan temperatures. The coat comes in particularly handy on a cold winter night when collecting money from the aforementioned boot-wearers.
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